How to be “The Man” and Not “That Guy” at the Gym


It’s 2015 and many fads have come and gone, for better or for worse. It’s fair to say the shameless Instagram fit freaks are still dominating the social media scene. As if waking up in last night’s outfit with a bag of flaming hot Cheetos and a warm half drunken beer in your bed hasn’t convinced you that your life is at an all new low, Instagram will. Watching a Dwayne Johnson movie and immediately flexing in the mirror afterwards as a final failed attempt of self-assurance is long gone. Today, all you need is to check your “Insta-likes” and scroll through a bombardment of washboard abs and self-proclaimed meal plan chefs.

Eating some sort of combination of macros and micros of leafy greens and something called quinoa sounds like a plethora of fun… if you don’t really know what fun is. We would all get much more enjoyment out of binge watching Netflix television shows and checking out all of Jen Selter’s very round Gluteus Maximus selfies. However, it’s time to ditch the Cheetos and get real with ourselves. How can any of us score a Jen Selter booty when we have a frat party keg of our own?

Let’s transform our Instagram bitter body into an Instagram worthy bod. Sure you’re probably going to have to try something called whey protein, even though it doesn’t sound very appealing. You’ll probably also feel like vomiting the first few times after a cardio packed workout. When you start to feel discouraged, just remember one thing. Dan Bilzeran only gets hundreds of girls because he is freakin’ loaded with serious mula. If you want to get babes after babes, you will probably need to keep hitting the gym.

Here are some things to keep in mind before lifting and clean eating, and no it doesn’t include the tastiest flavor of protein (because there isn’t such a thing).

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