Listen up, gentleman. While existing in this era commonly referred to as ‘digital dating age,’ organic interpersonal skills unfortunately seem to be taking a back seat.
Approaching women in a public setting can admittedly be quite intimidating especially when hiding and swiping behind your smartphone does not to subject you to an eventual rejection. But no matter how many apps or dating sites appear on the scene, there is nothing like making a connection with an attractive female the ‘good old fashioned way.’
Because of the excess use of technology, some may not be fully competent in their abilities to approach a member of the opposite sex. Fear not! Here are a few simple pointers from women to make sure your ‘game’ stays on point. Follow this list and you are sure to avoid rejection when hitting the bar scene.
Make Eye Contact for a Couple Seconds, Then Flash a Smile
Think of this as your green light. If you find yourself locking eyes with someone, hold your gaze for a few seconds then flash a smile. Be sure not to stare, that will seem creepy. If she reciprocates and smiles in return, that is a telling sign that she would fancy making your acquaintance.
Just Say Hello
No cheesy pick up lines. No ‘Hey, don’t I know you? You look familiar!’ It’s SO simple. Just say hello. Introduce yourself and ask for her name.
Pay Her A Compliment
Flattery will indeed get you anywhere. Tell her her dress looks nice on her. Tell her you really like her curly hair. Tell her you how you are digging her shade of red lipstick. Women love when the things that we do to put effort into our appearance do not go unnoticed.
*Whatever you do, don’t be creepy. Avoid buzzwords like ‘sexy,’ ‘hot’. This could make us feel like you are just looking to get into our pants.
Be interested in her. Ask what part of town she lives in, where she is from, what she does for a living and what she does for fun. Just simple conversation. No need to try too hard to be creative as it will never come across as authentic.
Offer A Drink
If you find yourself immersed in a conversation for a duration of 5 minutes, chances are she is interested, and clearly so are you. Ask her if you can buy her a drink when hers is empty, not when yours is. Doing so will show her that you are capable of being attentive to her needs. There is nothing that will kill your shot with a girl you have been speaking to than ordering yourself a drink and not offering her one. It’s called chivalry and we know it isn’t completely dead.
If she does decline a drink, do not take this as a rejection. Some women simply do not prefer to take drinks from strangers. Do not push one on her.
*Bonus points are awarded to the gentlemen who also offer her friends a drink. This will definitely put you in everyone’s good graces and dramatically improve your odds at leaving with a phone number.
Include Her Peers
If she is with friends, be sure not to alienate them from the conversation. Be interested in them as well, but not TOO interested.
Go In For The Digits
If all seems to be going well, ask for her number. A nice thing to lead with is, ‘If it’s alright with you I’d love to see you again.’ Hopefully the feeling is mutual and she will provide you with her contact info. Also, if she is out with friends, it is best not to linger for the entire evening. You want to leave her curious and excited to learn more about you, so keep the conversation to no more than 2 drinks.
Making A Date
Contact her the next day to make a date. The 4 day rule is complete BS and guys who text the same night seem way too available.
Happy hunting, boys!
Nikki Zimmer is a blogger living and working in advertising in New York City. Nikki started www.TheSingleSociety.com to archive the amusing interactions and cautionary tales of finding love in the Big Apple. She enjoys exotic world travel, live jazz music and a good happy hour.