Being single is great; you can flirt with whoever you want, do what you want to do when you want to do it, and never have to answer to anyone. Many people wouldn’t want it any other way…for a while.
But once those fun nights out become lonely Netflix marathons and you’re third-wheeling all of your friends it can get a little old. However, actually going out and meeting that special someone is a hard task; you’re probably not going to meet your future wife at the local bar you’ve been to every weekend.
Even if you don’t want a relationship, finding someone to temporarily have fun with can be hard if you don’t know where to look.
This is where this article comes into play; you are lucky enough to be trying to date now–in an era that has technology oozing out of your fingertips. Although online dating comes with its skepticism (or it used to) it might just be worth a try.
I am here to break down the process for you, and hopefully you will end up finding exactly what you have been looking for.
How to Pick Your Online Dating Website
Choosing a dating site can actually be quite simple; it all comes down to your personality.
Things to focus on are whether or not you’re outgoing, how serious of a relationship you are looking for, and how you would prefer your first interaction with whoever you meet.
Here, I have broken down the most common dating sites and whether or not it would be a good fit for you.
Plenty of Fish
Plenty of Fish gives users the chance to write a plethora of information about themselves and has an option called ‘Meet Me,’ which will find potential matches for you so that you can be paired with someone in a timely matter.
POF is geared towards people that want a substantial amount of information about anyone they meet before any interactions. Easy way to avoid the creepers and crazy cat ladies.
Blendr gives you the opportunity to fill in as much, or as little information as you’d like. Plus, if you choose to connect your Facebook, anyone you match with that shares the same mutual friends as you, also shows you how they’re connected to each other.
However, this site is not geared towards the shy, as their anonymous chats are what members use to spark up conversations with potential matches. Which can be a good or bad thing, depending on who you are.
OKCupid is one of the most known online dating websites, and more users means more matches. To set you up, you must create a detailed profile and answer a shitload of questions, which helps to pair you with matches better tailored to you.
There is also an option called Quickmatch that allows users to connect with potential dates with efficiency. This site is also perfect for those who want tons of information about anyone they might connect with and even features a subreddit on how to get the best results. The subreddit is perfect for people who are new at this or are perhaps more quiet and unsure of what to do.
Zoosk is very similar to OKCupid and lets you write about your dream date, experiences and anything else you feel necessary for users to know about you.
eHarmony has been around for quite some time now, and does not allow you to view other users until all essays and questionnaires are completely filled out– weeding out the people who aren’t there for real reasons.
One thing to be wary about however, is your profile can be denied all together if the site is not able to find anyone close enough to your type. This site may not be best for those looking for a causal relationship, as it requires lots of time filling up your profile and no guarantee you will actually get the chance to find someone.
Match also has the pre-profile questions, however you cannot contact a person without paying a fee. If money is not an obstacle, then by all means, with over 17 million potential matches, it may be worth your time and your money.
This is the heavy hitter of online dating, boasting that “Match.com has led to more dates, relationships and marriages than any other site.”
The Profile Picture
By now you should have chosen your online dating site and managed to fill out the potential lengthy questionnaires that make you second guess every one of your preferences.
Better times are to come!
…But only with a proper profile picture, as most women will judge the shit out of your thumbnail before they even bother to open any messages you have sent them. Try and take an engaging photo, perhaps somewhere off the beaten path and out of the norm.
Give your potential matches something to talk about; if they see something intriguing in your profile picture then they are that much more likely to contact you and ask you about it.
Do not take a profile picture with other girls hanging off of you or of you standing on a bar; keep it classy. Wear an outfit that expresses your style best and in a worse case if you truly cannot think of an intriguing place to take your photo, you can always fall back on your job.
There is always the simple way out, which is to take a photo in a suit in your place of work, something to make you look successful– but slightly boring. Better yet, do something out of your comfort zone and snap a photo, be adventurous, it shows you’re up for trying something new.
Once the profile picture is set, you can choose roughly three other photos to add to your account. They should all be different and show different aspects of your life and the many sides of you. Four pictures of you drinking with your buddies? You’re a fucking drunk. A bunch of photos of you at work? You’re a workaholic and won’t pay her any attention. Show the complex sides of you– and if those don’t exist, work on yourself before you’re looking for others, ya boring bastard.
The About Me Page
If only the questionnaires were enough, but sadly, this is not the case.
The about me page is crucial, as it not only expresses your interests, but this is also what will make women feel comfortable about contacting you. This is online dating after all, and women are well aware of the dangers they may be faced with; they take any little thing as a sign that you might be trouble.
Try to keep the about me short, around two paragraphs is a good guide– enough to show you can write something coherent without sounding like you’re spilling your life story.
What is it that inspires you to get up every morning; are there any dreams you’re chasing, as far-fetched as they may be?
What have you done that has set you apart from the rest, and what are you looking for out of online dating? Perhaps you’ve lived in another country for a few months or you love to ski in Vermont?
Maybe you are just a typical meat and potatoes kind of guy and would like someone to experience life with? Are you are looking for love or someone to have a casual relationship with? Make yourself known for who you really are while getting across what kind of girl you’re looking for.
Sending Messages to Potential Matches
Now your page is all set up and it’s time to do what online dating is all about…
Message ladies. Lots of ladies.
Send as many conversation starters to as many women as you’re interested in, more than half will probably not lead anywhere– don’t get discouraged. Perhaps the account is just no longer being used or the woman is just not interested. Oh well.
One tip is to message the new users; they have yet to be bombarded by countless guys yet. But before you try brainstorming on how to make your move, read through their profiles. Look through what they like and dislike; the more effort you put into finding out what they like, the more fuel you can add to the conversation once it starts. Start by sending an open ended question, yes or no questions are just bad conversation.
Ask them about something they like that you share an interest in so that you can expand on their answer. Make sure to also have a list of questions ready to go for when that topic gets old. There is nothing worse than running out of things to say just as the woman starts to seem interested.
Questions can be broken down into different categories: family, career, lifestyle and entertainment. Once you have shared a few meaningful conversations, you can move onto sharing phone numbers and planning your first get together– go you! However, do not be afraid of rejection! This will come more times than not and if you let it get you down then you will never find any luck online. Be persistent and never give up, but also don’t become a weird stalker. If someone says no, move on to the next, but be persistent in your search. With all of the profiles of single women online there is no excuse to stop trying.
Online dating can be a great way to meet new people, whether you’re interested in a serious relationship or a one night stand, and by having a basis as to what to do, you are already ahead of most of the competition. So get to signing up and good luck to you!