I saw a man in his late twenties, outside of a movie theater last month. He happened to be dating a friend of mine from college, and we introduced ourselves before the flick.
All without awkwardness. We were just classmates. Who only made out one time when we were drunk. We never really hooked up, and we stayed friendly.
A bizarre warm snap allowed for us all to sport a wardrobe of closet summer clothes, still wrinkled from being shoved in that tiny drawer everyone puts their shorts in during the winter.
New guy over here, went so far as to sport one of those shirts where the sleeves are ripped off, along with the majority of the side of the shirt, partially revealing his midriff and arms.
I get it. You played sports. Cool. Nice abs. Good for you, fucker.
I couldn’t help but get mad at this asshole for no reason other than his chiseled physique. I frequently exercise, but I am confident that I will never look like that guy.
I mean, his arms were like legs.
After talking with my kiss-friend and do-do bird for a while, I realized that even though his body fat percent was under 3, he spent his entire life in the gym or at GNC.
Talking about working out. Talking about his diet. Talking about talking about working out and his diet.
While I’m sure he was exaggerating, he claimed he spent four hours a day, at the gym.
Four. Hours. A. Day.
While I see it paid off in spades to land the girl that I was like, “Meh,” about six years ago, I really think he could do better with his life.
What about his home, apartment, pad or F-Shack?
What’s that look like?
What about his car? Clothes? Job? Hobbies?
While I have no reason to tear apart the muscle-y hunk; a part of me felt bad for the one-dimensional boy, who only had his well-defined chest and legs to hang his crappy shirt and shorts on.
There’s more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking.
Yes, you should work out.
Don’t not workout.
I’m not saying that.
Exercise is crucial to your human existence.
1. Don’t get distracted by meatheads or women with skinny arms.
Your arms are great honey.
Working out at home, at a gym or outside does way more for you than make you look strong, skinny or sexy. I mean, I’m not a scientist, but I know the way I feel after cranking those twenty pound dumbbells and listening to rap on an elliptical for a half-an-hour, and it gives me the confidence of a-hundred black women.
The point is: go.
Even if the results don’t make you look like Lindsey Vonn or Matthew McConaughey, you’ll feel good. You’ll have confidence and you won’t be out of breath when the elevators are out in your building.
2. Have a hobby (other than the gym.)
Maybe it’s snowboarding. Maybe it’s collecting vinyl. Maybe it’s writing blogs that eventually land you a position for a cool website. (Please read my blog.)
Whatever it is, just do something that is an escape…
Gives you a sense of accomplishment…
Gives you interesting talking points at the next social soiree you visit.
Maybe, don’t have it be politics.
Politics, is fine.
Just don’t beat me up about them if you see me at a party.
3. Do your job, at your job.
Even if you hate your gig, do it well
Make your job your bitch.
Nothing bad ever came out of jobbing the hell out of your job.
You’ll get noticed.
And, eventually you’ll be able to put your finger on what it is you want to do or find another opportunity that you jump out of bed for.
4. Don’t have all your shit be broken.
I know that phrase is written poorly, but it just sounds right.
When people ride in your car with you, visit your place or see you in public, don’t spend more time constructing an excuse for why your shit’s all fucked up, then just fixing it.
If you can’t fix it, throw money at it.
That usually does the trick.
Keep your gear, body, clothes, car, bike- tidy and well maintained.
5. Eat good stuff, most of the time.
When I say good stuff I mean: clean meat, vegetables, fruit and stuff that is real.
Processed food is delicious, and quite frankly, it makes me happy. But, too much makes you look embarrassing and counters your exercise efforts.
6. Love a lot.
Love your spouse.
Love your lover.
Love your friends.
Love your Mom.
Help people move. Open the door for strangers. Let that guy with two things at the grocery store, bud in line. Tip well. Smile a lot.
If you do, the effects are like Xanax: It just makes everything… better.
7. Wear cool clothes and look nice.
Don’t take fashion advice from the Sheldon character on that Bang show.
Don’t still shop at Abercrombie and Fitch.
Don’t not care.
These are basic no-no’s, but if you need specific tips, look at basically any other article on this site, and let it be your guide.
There are tons of good pieces to help you look good-
And be able to do it on a budget.
Let’s be real here: I may be in no position to give advice.
I’m just a happy dude, with a pretty good job, a hot wife and a limited amount of jealousy when I see a jacked motherfucker, who looks like they just got out of an LMFAO concert.
I’m sexy and I know it.