I remember my first time on Tinder. It’s one of those things you just can’t forget, it’s almost like taking prescription pain killers for the first time. You know that everything about the app is just so wrong, but at the same time it just feels so right. Somewhere in your mind you’re trying to block out the endless articles and TV specials you’ve seen about ‘internet safety’, because that shit is clearly out the window at this point. You Mindlessly swipe left or right seeking casual hookups, a relationship, or anything else that may fall from the Tinder tree, all of which can lead a naive individual to many outlandish, and sometimes unwanted, places. But what’s a bad decision other than a start to an adventure, am I right?
After a life changing, and time wasting 6 months on Tinder and 2,000 matches later, I have retired from my self-proclaimed “Tinder Enthusiast” title. It’s primarily because I began to recognize I was 2 swipes away from being kidnapped and starring in a Liam Neeson film. I’ve seen it all from matching an old high school substitute teacher, to a local couple trying to convince me to join their swingers club. I’m going to share with you some of my personal experiences with Tinder, and most importantly highlight for you some extreme “dos and don’ts” of the Tinder world. Pay attention men, one stupid line could land you home alone on a Saturday night.